Leaving Religion in Israel
Religious context: Jewish-majority (~74%, ranging from secular Hiloni to Modern Orthodox to Haredi/ultra-Orthodox), Sunni Muslim (~18%), Christian (~2%), Druze (~1.6%); religious-secular divide and intra-Jewish religious diversity define much of public life.
Personal advice, not therapy. Email is free.
The Shape of Leaving in Israel
Israel is the densest country in the world for OTD (off-the-derech) deconstructions. The Haredi (ultra-Orthodox) community in Bnei Brak, Jerusalem, Beit Shemesh, and elsewhere is large, growing, and tightly bounded, and there is a substantial flow of young Haredim leaving the community every year. The exit looks closely like the OTD exits in Brooklyn, Lakewood, Stamford Hill, and Antwerp, with the added complication that Israeli OTDers also have to navigate military service questions, the absence of secular life skills the secular educational system would have provided, and a welfare and housing system that often leaves them on shaky footing for the first few years.
There is also a significant Modern Orthodox softening, where individuals and families are moving from observant practice to "traditional" or "secular-traditional" identification, with much less rupture than the Haredi exit involves. And there are smaller but real exits from the Israeli Christian Arab community, the Druze community (which is notoriously closed to outsiders and to leavers), and the various Muslim Israeli Arab communities (which face the typical Muslim exit costs intensified by the broader political context).
For Israeli readers, the pillar page on Orthodox Judaism is written with the OTD experience as a primary focus and references the local organizations (including Footsteps in the U.S., and Hillel and Yetzia’at She’ela in Israel) that exist precisely for this transition.
Pillar Pages for Israel
Which tradition you came out of matters more than what country you are in. These pillar pages are written specifically for the religious traditions most present in Israel.
Leaving Orthodox Judaism
For people who went off the derech (OTD) from Hasidic, ultra-Orthodox, Yeshivish, or Modern Orthodox communities. The shidduch system, the language, the family, and the immigrant-style transition into a wider world.
Leaving Islam
For ex-Muslims who left or are leaving Islam — including those who cannot say so out loud yet because of family, community, or country. Honest writing on apostasy, secrecy, and rebuilding a life when the cost is high.
Leaving the Catholic Church
For ex-Catholics, lapsed Catholics, and people walking away from the church they were raised in. The guilt machinery, the family Mass, the saints you still half-believe in, and what comes next.
Topics Most Relevant in Israel
The texture of the family rupture, the guilt, and the rebuild varies by country. These after-leaving pages tend to be the most useful for people from Israel.
When the family stops calling
For people whose family has cut off contact, formally or quietly, after they left their religion. The grief, the confusion, and what to do when the people who said they loved you stop showing up.
When your spouse still believes
For people in a mixed-faith marriage where one spouse deconstructed and one did not. Honest writing on whether the marriage can survive, what to talk about, what to avoid, and the kids in the middle.
The guilt that does not switch off
For people who left their religion and still feel guilty for things that used to be sins. Why the guilt persists, what it actually is, and what reliably helps it loosen.
Finding friends after the church
For people who lost their friend group when they left the religion they were raised in. Honest writing on how adult friendships actually form, and why the loneliness after leaving is not permanent.
Cities in Israel
110 cities in Israel. The texture of leaving is often more local than national \u2014 leaving Catholicism in Salt Lake City is not the same as leaving the LDS Church in Salt Lake City, and city-level context matters.
Jerusalem
801K
Tel Aviv
433K
West Jerusalem
400K
Haifa
267K
Ashdod
225K
Rishon LeẔiyyon
220K
Petaẖ Tiqwa
200K
Beersheba
187K
Netanya
172K
H̱olon
166K
Bnei Brak
154K
Reẖovot
133K
Bat Yam
129K
Ramat Gan
128K
Ashkelon
106K
Jaffa
100K
Modi‘in Makkabbim Re‘ut
89K
Herzliya
84K
Kfar Saba
81K
Ra'anana
80K
Hadera
76K
Bet Shemesh
67K
Lod
67K
Nazareth
65K
Modiin Ilit
64K
Ramla
64K
Nahariyya
51K
Qiryat Ata
49K
Givatayim
48K
Kiryat Gat
47K
Acre
46K
Eilat
46K
Afula
45K
Karmi’el
44K
Hod HaSharon
43K
Umm el Faḥm
41K
Nof HaGalil
41K
Tiberias
40K
Qiryat Moẕqin
39K
Qiryat Yam
39K
Rosh Ha‘Ayin
39K
Ness Ziona
39K
Qiryat Bialik
37K
Ramat HaSharon
36K
Dimona
34K
Eṭ Ṭaiyiba
33K
Yavné
32K
Or Yehuda
31K
Yehud-Monosson
29K
Safed
28K
Gedera
26K
Tamra
26K
Yehud
26K
Daliyat al Karmel
25K
Migdal Ha‘Emeq
25K
Sakhnīn
25K
Netivot
25K
Mevasseret Ẕiyyon
24K
Ofaqim
24K
Arad
24K
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From Israel? Tell Me What You Grew Up In.
What you were raised on. What started cracking. Where you are now. Be as specific as you can. I read every message myself and reply within a day or two.
Personal advice, not therapy. Email is free.