Leaving Religion in China
Religious context: Officially atheist state with growing religious populations — Buddhism, Taoism, and folk religion most widespread; Christian growth (~5%, mostly underground evangelical/Pentecostal house churches); Sunni Muslim Uyghur and Hui populations under significant state pressure.
Personal advice, not therapy. Email is free.
The Shape of Leaving in China
China is religiously mixed and largely secular as a country. The dominant religious context is: Officially atheist state with growing religious populations — Buddhism, Taoism, and folk religion most widespread; Christian growth (~5%, mostly underground evangelical/Pentecostal house churches); Sunni Muslim Uyghur and Hui populations under significant state pressure.
China is largely secular as a national culture, and the deconstructions happening here are concentrated in specific sub-communities rather than the country as a whole. Pick the pillar page that fits the specific tradition you grew up in — Catholic, evangelical, Pentecostal, JW, Orthodox Jewish, or Muslim — the broader country context is comparatively forgiving.
Leaving in China carries real community cost in a way that the broader Western experience often does not capture. Family rupture is common. Local religious communities are often dense, and stepping out of one is closer to immigrating than to changing a hobby.
Pillar Pages for China
Which tradition you came out of matters more than what country you are in. These pillar pages are written specifically for the religious traditions most present in China.
Leaving Evangelical Christianity
For people deconstructing from American evangelical Christianity, non-denominational megachurches, Southern Baptist, and conservative Protestant traditions. Honest writing about losing your faith, your tribe, and the certainty you used to have.
Leaving Pentecostal & Charismatic
For people leaving Pentecostal, charismatic, Word of Faith, IFB, or Apostolic churches. Speaking in tongues, prophetic words, faith healing, demons under every rock — and what it does to a body to come out of all of it.
Leaving Islam
For ex-Muslims who left or are leaving Islam — including those who cannot say so out loud yet because of family, community, or country. Honest writing on apostasy, secrecy, and rebuilding a life when the cost is high.
Topics Most Relevant in China
The texture of the family rupture, the guilt, and the rebuild varies by country. These after-leaving pages tend to be the most useful for people from China.
When the family stops calling
For people whose family has cut off contact, formally or quietly, after they left their religion. The grief, the confusion, and what to do when the people who said they loved you stop showing up.
The guilt that does not switch off
For people who left their religion and still feel guilty for things that used to be sins. Why the guilt persists, what it actually is, and what reliably helps it loosen.
Finding friends after the church
For people who lost their friend group when they left the religion they were raised in. Honest writing on how adult friendships actually form, and why the loneliness after leaving is not permanent.
Cities in China
220 cities in China. The texture of leaving is often more local than national \u2014 leaving Catholicism in Salt Lake City is not the same as leaving the LDS Church in Salt Lake City, and city-level context matters.
Shanghai
22.3M
Beijing
11.7M
Tianjin
11.1M
Guangzhou
11.1M
Shenzhen
10.4M
Wuhan
9.8M
Dongguan
8.0M
Chongqing
7.5M
Chengdu
7.4M
Nanjing
7.2M
Nanchong
7.2M
Xi’an
6.5M
Shenyang
6.3M
Hangzhou
6.2M
Harbin
5.9M
Tai’an
5.5M
Suzhou
5.3M
Shantou
5.3M
Jinan
4.3M
Zhengzhou
4.3M
Changchun
4.2M
Dalian
4.1M
Kunming
3.9M
Qingdao
3.7M
Foshan
3.6M
Puyang
3.6M
Wuxi
3.5M
Xiamen
3.5M
Tianshui
3.5M
Ningbo
3.5M
Shiyan
3.5M
Taiyuan
3.4M
Tangshan
3.4M
Hefei
3.3M
Zibo
3.1M
Zhongshan
3.1M
Changsha
3.1M
Ürümqi
3.0M
Shijiazhuang
2.8M
Lanzhou
2.6M
Yunfu
2.6M
Nanchang
2.4M
Dadonghai
2.0M
Ordos
1.9M
Jilin
1.9M
Bayan Nur
1.8M
Kunshan
1.6M
Xinyang
1.6M
Fushun
1.4M
Luoyang
1.4M
Guankou
1.4M
Handan
1.4M
Baotou
1.3M
Xuchang
1.3M
Yueyang
1.2M
Anshan
1.2M
Tongshan
1.2M
Fuzhou
1.2M
Guiyang
1.2M
Lijiang
1.1M
From China? Tell Me What You Grew Up In.
What you were raised on. What started cracking. Where you are now. Be as specific as you can. I read every message myself and reply within a day or two.
Personal advice, not therapy. Email is free.